Sunday, July 29, 2007

angry me.


One more chapter.

Residency years are the worst years. You are practically a slave. Feel like doing or not; you have to do it. many a times you fell like exploited, cheated, and so on.

Whole night I was awake. Was about to sleep at 9 am. Suddenly came to know that sunil commited suicide. Ohhhh god. Can’t believe it. Came out of the room and it was. People were sad, some crying, some with extreme sorrow. It hurts more when someone more sincere and hardworking has to suffer. And same goes in AIIMS. When you can cheat consultants and they don’t notice it people call it talent. Wow. ..
Definitely sunil was not that type.

Hard working, smiling all the time, sincere towards his job this is how I know sunil.

I know him since last 2 years. We joined in the same year. He joined MCh. For the next one year I saw him running like a mad dog. For AIIMS consultants residents are like dogs. For me real dogs are AIIMS consultants. Since they bark I believe so.

For initial years residency is hell in south ASIA. This is how it is. What British taught them is slavery. First they were and now they want it. These people are powered with a so called degree. An A4 sized mere color printed useless paper, a dream of every medical student including mine. I would have not come here, had it been known to me earlier. I prefer MBBS rather than doing residency and wasting my fruitful three years in AIIMS. I don’t know about branches of medicine but surgery is like a brothel. No way u can learn surgery. Does not look like a teacing institute. Half of its surgery residents are in us doing residency in internal medicine.

I used to see sunil running in the casualty for getting a CT scan for head injury patients. Polytrauma patients with head injury he personally used to come to us. Always used to say “clear patients from your side. I will send the patients to some other hospital. But do it fast.” He was soft spoken all the time. I know neuro sx is hectic branch but he never used to look tired.

People rank ortho next to neuro in terms of hectic duty schedule. Still remember those days. Even I was stressed in initial few months and thought of quitting residency. More so after my batch mate resigned after one month. He could not bear he left. Again I was stressed and determined to leave after one year when junior resigned. I prepared resignation and was about to submit it. but again thought what I got after one year, and what is harm to consultants if I leave. Work will be done by other residents who are in the departments. So why to leave? better stick somehow and wait every single day to pass off. That’s what I am doing.

But neurosurgery consultants are very rude and harsh. Even we have some such characters. Whose sole work is to find out where resident is lacking. Raise the fault and highlight it till their orgasm. Our life is hell with these sadists in the department. what the f-cking human right is doing I don’t know.

But in the afternoon I could see some guilt in their face. The so called top neurosurgeon in this country ( no way they are) were hiding their face in the meeting with director. If God is there they should get a lesson in life. They should be punished for taking somebody’s life. After three years of rigorous residency if these bastards threat of failing candidate every body will be pressurized. This could be the reason behind the entire story.

Any way these rabied surgeons will never change their attitude. Cause their attitude is the reflection of their blood. If blood is polluted every second it pollutes your brain with every pump of the heart which is even getting same polluted blood. So I won’t expect much from these people. But one thing is clear you don’t have right to abuse residents in public in the mid of round.

May god rest his soul in peace. You were born to become surgeon and you will be wherever you go.

Don’t bother if somebody is teaching you or not. There is nothing you can’t do. So why to accept their slavery just to learn one or two surgery. Let our moral not be low. Lets not sell our self respect for the shake of bloody one surgery. If u don’t want to teach,don’t teach. I would love not to learn from u in such environment. Let us give MD in surgery not MS in surgery.

Oh its too late. should sleep now.

1 comment:

Hakka said...

Condolences. Sorry to hear about Sunil. I am sometimes tired and wonder why not just quit and marry someone rich and not worry about stupid things like checking IV fluids, drug charts, blood results day in day out as well as be expected to arrive early for cases AND be knowledgeable in every aspect of the operative technique and ANATOMY including variations even though they don't fucking teach us that anymore in medical school. I am tired. I want to do surgery but nobody's with me.