Sunday, October 28, 2007

five point someone

This is the second time I read by Chetan Bhagat. First was the " one night at call center" and this is "Five point someone."

I did not find any great about one night at call center. but definitely some good in five point someone. and it goes like this.....

Five Point Someone is a story about three friends in IIT who are unable to cope.
The book starts with a disclaimer, "This is not a book to teach you how to get into IIT or even how to live in college. In fact, it describes how screwed up things can get if you don't think straight."

Three hostelmates - Alok, Hari and Ryan get off to a bad start in IIT - they screw up the first class quiz. And while they try to make amends, things only get worse. It takes them a while to realize: If you try and screw with the IIT system, it comes back to double screw you. Before they know it, they are at the lowest echelons of IIT society. They have a five-point-something GPA out of ten, ranking near the end of their class. This GPA is a tattoo that will remain with them, and come in the way of anything else that matters - their friendship, their future, their love life. While the world expects IITians to conquer the world, these guys are struggling to survive.

Will they make it? Do underperformers have a right to live? Can they show that they are not just a five-point-somebody but a five-point-someone?

I started late in the evening after food. was already tired. Still thought of finishing in one go. Somehow with small and wrinkling eyesIi finished it late in the morning. Got terrible headache. My astigmatism once gave me a kick, warned me not to strain my eyes. Whole Sunday my head was like just sustained a thunderclap. Watery eyes, frustrating headache, restlessness and what not. I think i need to evaluate whether it my astigmatism or a real migraine. If it is astigmatism it's ok but if migraine can't think off. whatever, its a bad headache.........

Things are going smoothly. Every single days I am counting and putting a cross in the calender. I am fade up with residency in India. Infact i am fade up with India stay. But its not a homesickness also. At the back of my mind i feel like not to join plastic surgery . No more India stay. cause where ever you go in India its almost the same system in residency in fact i don't like the system, hitting at the place where it hurts more this is what the consultants do. How can somebody imagine to hurt somebodies self respect and confidence. And at this age i don't want to join residency for free. I am already exploited like anything in the residency. Haha Haha..... I am doing residency for free. Paying tutuion fee and hostel fee but i am not getting stipend. I am doing just to get degree which cannot make me eat during residency though later after residency.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


At the mid of this crazy night I am writing something . I cannot sleep. Nor can I read. Try to remember my whole day. Starts from 7:30 am . wake up with burning eyes (cause I had just slept few hours back) tooth brush in one hand and soap case in another. Its just an example of saving precious time in fucking residency. Keep brushing while in the shitttt- room. Then next move is to the bathroom. A french bath and immediate ready to ward with a soothing white lapcoat, Which means a burden to me and a respect to my patients……Who come all the way from united state of bihar, jharkhand and uttar pradesh.

At 8 starts a so called round. For what the round is? The purpose of this round is still unclear to me. I have to accept at this point I have little brain. Some walking live ego on white lapcoat, the grey haired clean shaven so called consultants comes like an army march and flies like hurricane. This is what a round is. one of our patient used to tell me when I had just joined residency. Where ever the center of hurricane is but the destruction points are mostly residents or patients and sometimes interestingly the attendants. Once it is 9 I feel disheartened, disorganised, a victim of intellectual rape who can never complain of being raped for a mere degree. Try to balance my self and stitch the rents in the slefrespect what were created during round . An open threat of not knowing the basic of medical sciencs, not doing the works properly as if it sounds we have done wrong to patients and be ready to fail in the exam. Sometimes I feel medical centers are becoming a milti-storied academic brothels. This is how my day starts loosing confidence and self respect. Whom to complain I don’t know. There is nobody in this world except my pen which sometimes hesitate and ask ….hey dactorree? why don’t you fuck this fucking residency and get back to your previous life. 10 years back and now my pen has noticed a change in my life.

It sucks when I remember the OPD . same old people who come for any tom dick and harry problem to AIIMS. Mostly bihari baba and chachi and starts with “ dactar sab kamar ses dard chalu hoata hey aur gardan tak jata hai . marod marod kar pau tak . tis marta hai” I feel crazy to listen this. Write a history saving my ass and send for the x-ray. I have to be very concious in writing history cause next time who ever see this patient they will pick up the mistake as if he has diagnosed the disease and call you and scold - is this the way to write history and gives u a blank look ? as if he was a born intelligent.

Somehow I manage to finish OPD and prepare for special clinics, another way of harassing people of similar problem. Hand clinic scoliosis clinic ctev clinic. I never understand for what these clinics are opened. Lets say one visit on Monday with ctev . they are called on Friday and cast is given . bastard why he has to wait for 5 more days to get the same cast which can be given on Monday. Why cant we give it on Monday and let him follow up in Friday next time onwards. Why hand cases are made waited till Thursday and send for xrays and again called Thursday. Unnecessarily we are wasting their time rather than treating . we are harassing them I should say. Are these clinics for somebody’s existence or hierchercy to maintian ?

Then comes the case workup in the ward for admitted patients. By the time part of me is tired and part of me is dragging me to room for some rest. Oh sucks I am second on call today. Imagine I came around 5 pm in the room and I have to go at to the casualty at night waste their a minimum of 5 hours . No sleep nothing and come back by 5 /6 am . Now difficult to decide whether to sleep or be ready to go to operation theatre which starts at 8 am. Part of me cries for joining residency in AIIMS. I am never happy since I came here. Cause I could not mould myself for this environment but I have left nothing to do from my part. Otherwise part of me which caters honesty cires with pain. God this is the horrible duty. Sucks me….somtimes I wish I were a farmer like my grand parents . I never saw them such frustrated.

While I was coming from casualty I saw a dog busy with his masters for the morning walk. Thought how lucky the dog is . At least gets time for morning walk. He sleeps better than me and of course gets food in time, does little duty than me. We both are honest . in spite, he is perfect at honesty but mine is doubted many time. But difference is dog has personal life once his masters goes office but I don’t have. Dog gets holiday me not. Even he is scolded he bothers not but I need to..and more a way no body can fail him but my boss threats me. But there is similarity between us. Both of us stand begged in front of our masters. But nothing happens to dog if he does not want to but my boss can give me a starry look and say let your exam come. Dog can bark both his masters and rest but I cannot . I am feared to fail and only my master barks at me. This way dog can take revenge to master but not me . guess whose life is better . A DOG OR A DOGTOREEE.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Post Pulse Depression ( PPD)

post pulse depression or ppd is a term frequently heard in aiims arena after pulse is over. young students from different corners hold their bag in the back, search train ticket and finally weave their hand and say "sianora aiims."

No more songs, no more loud speakers, no more sports and no more couple with hands in hands. AIIMS reverts back to its original forms. Hey guys! where is that charmming face? where is that sporting zeal? where is that so called an aiimsonian energy which makes you different from the rest?

Everyone is back to their mission. still there is something lacking in face. There is less oxygen in blood, a nicotine has still covered the grey matter. hope with passage of time things will be normal and post pulse depression will be setteled as usual years.

In the mean time guys check this video clip from pulse 07.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Pulse 2007

Neither I am a good doctor nor a good writer. I am in a process of being a good doctor, being trained for that but I guess I can never be a good writer. Don’t want to hurt myself for not being a good writer too.

Either my patient or my pen only one can survive at once. Since I joined medical school my pen has shrunken down. Nearly cachetic, just like a cancer patient, waiting for a death. I want to write but what makes me stop I don’t know. I am not a literature student nor a journalist but I want to write.

Last week was a medi- fest in AIIMS called PULSE. Aspiring medi- kids gathered to their makka from 17- 22. Seeing them I concluded few of the things

Doctors are not only the book worms

They are damn good player also

Can sing and dance like professional

Can walk onto ramp, both body and beauty conscious

Surprisingly beautiful girls are becoming doctor unlike what I used to see during my medical school.

Sorry to say surprisingly beautiful I compare it with my student life. Boys used to select whom to see and follow. But now situation is reverse whom not to see.

Equally beautiful smart and really handsome girls are becommig doctors. It’s a change of time and trend {hey what I am writing is nothing very professional, don’t mean I am serious)

More than AIIMS pulse was my own pulse. AIIMS pulse was bounding and so as my own pulse . I had seminar right after pulse and I was not prepared. Infact I started late and I had to devote almost 6–7 night ( that too all pulse nights). Imagine young doctors are dancing and I was preparing seminar, searching journal, reading in library was damn difficult for me during pulse. But I had no option. I knew that pulse is there still I did not prepare the seminar beforehand. Any way I am a last moment guy. Whether be an exam, seminar or what ever.

The day I finished my seminar I felt so light headedness. For me to sleep was never a problem. It’s a matter of 5 minutes. But that day it took half an hour to sleep. I was really feeling relieved.

What I learnt last month is “Eat and shit at earliest free minutes in residency.” These days I am regular in meals. Buy hunger pains, buy peptic ulcer.