Monday, March 30, 2009

seeking some help fro GOD....

When you have limited option and you have to choose one, very sure you will find your hands shaking before choosing one. Same here…. Being a surgeon I am scared with intra-op and post-op complications. I have never come across hardware problems. Orthopedic infections being my nightmares, I always pray before holding knife with my right hand and try to stick with in the principles of sterility. But today is different, I am to operate the old lady of 80’s tomorrow and I am sweating now onwards. The frail lady with difficult fracture and preoperative morbidity including bad chest condition will rob my sleep today. The rare blood group and no blood stock in blood bank, what more is needed to warn my life much before she complicates in the theatre. And his grandson whose eyes are always searching for our faults to point out. What a deadly combination? Had I been a private practioner, I would have said sorry much earlier to them. But medical college you have to accept it and being a tertiory center where you will refer them? She is getting delayed, there is no blood, she can complicate in the ward anytime and her grandson finds us guilty for all nonsense reasons. This is the sorry state of the affairs where you find some people are born headless. Politely I can label him as one of them. Else he should be at least thankful to the hospital for keeping her better than she was.


Earlier I thought I would not be touching this case. But now the matter is different..things have already been decided I will be going to the theater tomorrow. But now I have to and I am scared if something wrong happens, relatives will make an issue out of it. Who knows? they may shout for compensation. This has become the usual trend in Nepal once the patient dies they invariably destroys the hospital property and ask for compensation. How bad the matter is taking shape. If so who will come forward to operate the patients. Because every surgery carries, some rate or mortality be it from anesthesia or surgical point of view. How and when people will understand this? Thank god, the patient who died last time immediately after induction realized the matter that, this is a known complication and they accepted despite the fact some people tried to make an issue to raise our name.


I have to operate upon her tomorrow. I was reading for it since evening and how it can be done smoothly with minimal errors and with best possible outcome. Cannot say about outcome, but one thing sure with minimal blood loss I can do it and can fix it with the implant available with us. My plan is MIS and will convert into liberal incision if I find I am struggling to fix it. Any way I can only plan what happens, happens for best and I have no control over it. Only I can do is the informed consent with maximization of mortality rate to save my skin if something happens during and after surgery. Still my mind says we need to wait for few days for her general condition to improve. But what one can do if anaesthesist says he is ready. I am little confused and praying my god for helping me in such tough situation. As always please God take me out of it smoothly as if I was not entered in this problem either. God bless my patients, bless me too.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The beauty lies Near by my college. I dont know it cause I am a stupid....

I am not a moron but stupid for sure. I was doing my residency in AIIMS and went to south ex market after 3 months of stressful life. That day I declared myself a stupid, a mere collection of bone and flesh. Same thing happened today. I had never been to the other side of the college. Today I had an opportunity and just took a short walk. A half an hour journey of life and it showed me the real beauty of nature just besides my college. This is how I could capture it in the frame…..



The journey begins…........



Life has limited support, start journey at your own risk….......



Half we have traveled. Half left…say hi to all in same journey, no matter how busy you are. “The lesson I recently learnt from ants…..”



The tough survives and stands still. Rest follow the flow….....



Few inches away and life ends here….



Everything traverses a tough journey before freedom…… see the water how it has escaped…......



As high as deep down! Nature teaches you if you wish to learn….....



Tail lies in the viewer’s eyes.. The mysterious fish tail hiding its other fin…....



The more I think the more I sink… the majestic beauty lies 5 minutes from hospital……..


This is the beginning not the end... Will reach there before I die…..




Slow and steady wins the race.. Each step cut shorts your journey by one more step…..



Give space to all…take a side and keep walking…support your back with your own hand. Life is to travel alone……



The farther the taller….but its not the end… life is unreachable journey…ends before you finish…....



Who waits for you, not even the sun…start again tomorrow…



Not every road leads you there….decide much before you start walking…..think twice, walk two steps behind and proceed one … life is unmistakable then…...






Every little things neatly arranged add value in life.. Gives dimension to life….after all body is made up of such 206 bones……..



Children everywhere are same… they play till they are tired…so was I …...



Everybody gets confused when they have to choose one…..



Though rusted provides shelter to many….everything rusts with time…but remember value is same…....



If you have guts you stand still… no matter there are river both the side……...



Water takes its own course, no matter white water or blue water… it flows downward. Life is like water…....



Take a rest after a long journey.. How it matters, who the near by fellow is? He is an anaesthesist and me a surgeon, we don’t have case today so we are calm here…

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Delhi trip

There are occasions nobody knows what happens next in life? I am blogging from the airport that too I don’t need to log in my laptop and enable Wi-Fi to connect. I don’t need to buy the Wi-Fi coupon anymore. Thanks airtel for everything they have provided. They have installed some of the system called "internet kiosk" inside Delhi airport and here I am.

Writing about self...... No one knows why I was landed in delhi all of a sudden. But for god shake no one asked why? But all asked when? In addition, when are you leaving? Thanks god for their faith upon me. Thanks for knowing me in the form I was. And i promise I will be same.

My family knows why I was hurried to Delhi. I was suppose to attend DNB final exam.

Apart from this event and some monitory loss for plane ticket and delaying the ticket for few days, but I was blessed with many new surprises in Delhi.

Mentioning few of them, my paper was published in the "orthopaedic today" the paper I wrote long time back when I was leaving Delhi. It was a review article for the femoral stem design and its status in world. Remembering that paper, I think writing a review article has now become easy for me. Any body who reads it can judge the implant design and the result worldwide. In fact, it is a review and summary of such femoral designs world wide right from Swedish hip registry, Australian hip registry and British hip registry. I am happy for their faith and many many thanks for my prof. who have tremendous faith upon me. He did not even changed the sentence of it and allowed it to go to the print as it was written.

Another was article call by Elsevier publication. Long time back I send some article to Elsevier. Last time they send it back as they have many articles pending for publications. Now they sent me the mail stating I should write them back for that article. Very interestingly I got that mail. I was checking mail in my senior’s room and he pointed out that mail from Elsevier. "kya bat hai article call kar rahe Elsevier wale tere se" then only I checked that mail. Else I would have considered it as spam mail. Success comes in life as an installment. May be this is the way god wants and happens so.

Worth mentioning was my research paper has been accepted as a poster in Vienna Austria the 10th congress of EFORT starting from 3rd June. I wish to be there if things are favorable, else my prof will present it. During my Delhi stay, we have already finalized the slides for the poster. With in few days it will be printed.

The other being I checked my ranchi SBI account with ATM card and found some cash in some 5 digit. I never had an intuition that the increment of the internship will be forwarded in the same account. Thank god, it helped me a lot to buy my MRCS books. I was almost bankrupt in Delhi because my debit card was not working there somehow. This is the reason I prefer to carry cash. You never know when your card stops working.

Will update some more once I am back to home. It’s difficult to type while standing that too from the airport. It’s wise enough to leave this system to otherpeople who needs more to check mails. Have a good day…..got a boarding pass but not yet boarded inside the flight…..

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

God please help me:):):)

how he came to us......all bones exposed in the arm right from shoulder joint, and muscles crushed, nerves unidentified and vascular compromise. Almost dead limb difficult to look at it even with multiple bone fractures. a ray of hope to give life to it. there is nothing more than humanity, only hope that made me to work for hours and hours is the young age. he has long life to go ahead, and he has potential to heal himself if we do it in correct time and correct way. if the limb is 40% useful of its normal, and its his left limb its better than cosmetic artificail limb. keeping all things in mind i devoted myself like a donkey, not listening what others say, be it senior be it junior. i have 2 ears to listen and one mouth to talk.









we did all the experiment to make it viable, i did what i could imagine and what i could memorize. but the only hope is its immediate change of colour towards viability at the end of day. this gives me a smile in my face and finally it has gained the shape of a limb. even it cannot be salvaged, i would be happy to say myself that i left nothing for it.and the relatives know what i have sacrificied for it. hope the poor people's thanks really works for me. God please listen to him, god please listen to his parents and of course me too:):):)