Tuesday, January 30, 2007

viral infection.

For me virus is rabies, rubella bird flu and so on. Virus which infects human are my concern. I was not bothered with computer virus. I was happy when I bought my laptop last year. Laptop was my dream since my childhood. I was impressed looking at my teacher working in a laptop which was no less than a today’s trendy desktop. Still for me it was laptop. I thought I will buy it after joining specialization course. I started collecting money for it. I was so crazy about it i turned into a spendthrift to have it. Ultimately I joined orthopaedics in 2005. The passion in undergraduates turned into necessity by then. I was happy when I installed an original version of Norton 2006 few months back. This gave me an immense satisfaction. I thought one day even we will conquer over most medical viruses like Norton.

There are still some threat viruses in our science. HIV, hepatitis B,C and so on. Having heard of same in computer I was ready to spend a good amount of money for Norton original version. But it all went to vain when I was downloading an article from what I used to call a safe site. Then started my virus chasing mission. I was devoted like I was preparing for an university exam. I was dedicated more than in my MBBS final. I wasted 3 half days for it. Around 12 hours I used to be in the department and half I used to be with my computer. Even in the department I was worried how to chase that virus from the laptop. I was not working full hatred in the department. I slept for total 8 hours in last three days. This reflects my dedication towards the virus mission.

I was not worried about how to remove it but my worry was how to get some missing file back. One of them was my thesis work. And some photograph that I clicked of my patients. Some were rare once in a blue moon you will get to see these patients. I was desperately waiting for one of my patient’s call. Otherwise he used to call me every week or so. But this time he was not calling me. He was a software engg from IIT Delhi. He had a fracture in metacarpal and was under my treatment. But this time when I was drowning there was no hope to catch even a bunch of grass.

I borrowed an external hard disk and saved all my data. Then I was playing confidently with virus. I knew the virus from the security alert. I noted all the spy ware and the popup that were giving the constant threat. Along with spy ware there were some other viruses which attacked upon my documents. I started reading about many viruses and how to uninstall it. Ultimately what I did was I uninstall my Norton and downloaded the free version of AVG and its anti spy ware. But it was not sufficient to remove the popup threat. Some of the threats were constantly hitting my computer. They used to open other links most of them were ads or porn sites. Then a brilliant idea came into my small brain. I installed mozilla firefox and uninstall internet explorer but it was of no use. Then I was focused to remove spy ware. I started searching an efficient anti spy ware. All of a sudden I got Ad Aware SE personal version free to download. I got it and scanned whole computer it solved my worry. There were no more threats later. Still my brain was not constant I was worried about my missing file. I started searching about data recovery software. I got it from my friend and it helped me a lot. Finally I got my data. Virus free laptop but I lost my Norton for which I had paid a lot. No problem I have original software I can install it any time.

This event reminds me my character once again. I was in first year of my MBBS. There was one graph in the physiology book. I was not clear about it. I was in the same page for next 10 days. I studied many books in the library. Still my doubt was persisting. I asked my teacher which he could not satisfy me. I was attending my classes but my brain was constantly in the same graph. Even I was having food my brain was asking hey man did u understand that graph. Ultimately on the 10 day I understood what happens in the graph. So was my character. This is my weakness I should say. I should not waste time. Still I cannot control myself. It happens spontaneously I keep on watching the same problem and finally comes the solution inside me. This sometimes helps me exploring the ideas. But it’s a waste of time too. Virus is virus whenever and wherever it infects it will cause damage.

Friday, January 19, 2007

doctor you were great.

11:30 pm i was about to sleep. Had dinner few minutes back. Imagine you have full meal and feeling sleepy. How nice it would be when you get into your bed then. All of a sudden got a phone call REACH OPERATION THEATRE. My Prof at next end -a dead body is coming for bone bank. I am mobilizing all the guys please receive the body and get a consent from relatives before we reach there. Oh god whole night is gone. Again next day we had a routine works.

Reached the theatre nobody was there. Later i came to know that there was a confusion regarding organ donation. HE (who died) had already donated his eyes to one trust and that hospital, where he died, tried to reach that trust but they were too late to inform. Till then they were waiting for cornea retrieval. By the time everything was ok it was too late to retrieve cornea. God vision for two more patient is lost which could have been achieved very successfully.
Then his relatives tried to donate his other organs. Since it was to late other organ donation was impossible. As he died with MI few options were left too. Here i felt a delay of minutes may be too expensive. This was what happened with that case.
So only left was bone. Young patient a doctor by profession died of MI who was willing for organ donation and something went wrong in between and we missed organ retrieval. Its too much i thought.

I finished every formalities. Got a consent from his brother. Informed regarding the procedure and bone what we are going to take out. In mean time our team was mobilized. With proper techniques we could retrieve all long bones of lower limbs and a half pelvic bone of right side. The left side was already retrieved from a last donor. It was treated properly and kept inside a bone bank. By the time we were finished it was 6:30 am.

I thought doc you were great whole life till 30 you struggled to became a doctor. Then you struggled for someone else to make them feel better. And at young age 45 you left with organ that can be of use for the needy . Really doc i salute you from the bottom of my heart.

There are only 2 bone banks in India in my knowledge till now. One is in my institute. Doc thanks for your humanity.

I remember i had donated my both eyes for Til Ganga eye hospital in 1994. 12 years back when i was in class 10. That time i was only aware of eye donation. After being a doctor i came to know that many things can be donated. Thanks doc you have showed us a path. Why not we people start thinking about multiple organ donation which otherwise would be destroyed with life.

Came to my room at 7 am . slept for 1 hour. Reached hospital again for OPD. OPD is finished now. Can’t resist further. I need to sleep now.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

life ka fanda.

its been complete 8 years since i came to india. i left home in early 1998. except some government hoidays and breaks i am constalntly in india. for me hindi has become a step mother tongue (not a mother tongue so ..) i start speaking in hindi whenever i met nepalese juniors in aiims too. then i control myself and come back to my mother tongue. this is sometimes awkward. my brain registers hindi language as an usual language. though i was not fond of hindi movies during school life. my hindi exposure started with my college life in india. as far as i remember i spoke in hindi after coming to india only with some exception with "chana chatpati and tarkari bechne bhaiyas" in nepal.
i feel i can speak good hindi. better than our leader who in spite of weak hindi still try to communicate in hindi with hindi medias. hey man why dont you try to speak english or even in nepali. if u cannot reply in hindi/ english why dont you try nepali. its very funny to see nepalese leader speaking in hindi with hindi medias.

it all started with a email from dr niki. dr niki forwarded me a mail. which was as follows.

Life Ka Funda : : : : : :
Zindagi hai to Khwaab Hai
__Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai
____Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai
__________Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai
_____________Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai
___________________Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai
_________________________Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai
_____________________________Vishvas hai to Paisa hai
_______________________________Paisa hai to Shohrat hai
_____________________________________Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai
_________________________________________Izzat hai to Ladki hai
______________________________________Ladki hai to Tension hai
________________________________Tension hai to Concern hai
__________________________Concern hai to a Khayaal hai
______________________Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai
_________________Khawab hai to Growth hai
__________Growth hai to Zindagi hai
______Zindagi hai to khwaab hai
__Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai
Bas ghumnewala chahiye

it was hard core hindi and i could read and understand well. later i noticed oh it was in hindi. it proves if u repeat same thing for long brain will register it as usual events. it holds true. after all its a positive reinforcement shown by brain .

oh its too late. have to go early morning.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

interesting story.

this is the era of email. post office should be preserved to show our grand kids. they may give a strange look to post man. post man soon will become a character in baby comics or cartoon. still email seems to be an effective means of communication. thanks to bhatia and company for this hotmail.com. got a mail in my hotmail today, which used to be empty always. i dont know who has send it but it was interesting . this is how it goes.

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to
force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making
any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it
could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors
and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then
emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at
any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the
body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the
butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body
and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that
the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get
through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body
of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight
once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God
allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple
us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

phone call..

so tired and slept with shoes on. missed few important phone calls. the last one was special. it was no other than my great FUFU whom i call didi. me and fufu left kathmandu same time.fufaju got Phd admisiion in german and i got mbbs same year . since then none of us were together.

i wonder they have kids too. one can hardly communicate in nepali other in german only. hey what is this. should train properly you kids this used to be my ever complain to her. still both are busy may be the cause. i can understand fufuaju is not well these days so they have calcelled their plan to return. job problem and education to kids could be another reason they don want to be in kathmandu. but fufaju mind it we both are from simple school in kathmandu a government like school. we did so why not they.

finally we came to the conclusion that they will come next year ;early 2008. as usual she gave me another option of gettting married whom they know. beautiful, educated ......so on . i was smiling this time. but not a green signal.

wish if you were with me you would have seen my condition. no time to have food in time how can i think of getting merried .no ..not in the wildest dream even.

its 4 am and not yet slept. have to go at 7 am. lets sleep for hours . but didi i will keep my promise lets be back to our country and we will think about it. bye god night.

Monday, January 08, 2007


Though i added few missing pages in my blog they all were from last months. they were waiting their turn. finally a laziness inside me died and few got chance to survive other wise i would have lost them too. this is the first official blog of this new year i should say. finally its new year 2007. it's complete 8 years sincei left home for heigher studies. don know when i will finish. people resolve for new year but for me is just an another page change in caleder. i was just going back to my life in the vivid memory of it i found the most crucial phase of my life that i spent in ranchi. around 6 years i spent in ranchi immediately after +2 in kathmandu.
new place new people and a challenging subjec. ultimately i was happy i will become a doctor after 5 and half years. i thought i will finish my heigher studies there itslef. when i joined mbbs i came to know there are specialitites and without them one is incomplete. the completeness of which i am pursuing in the prestigious AIIMS.

Its been one and half years since i left Ranchi. since then frens, juniors and seniors ring me up whenever they have work or they want me to help for their known people. I dont take it otherwise.i am here in india's best medical institute and should be ready to help any one whether frens junior or a patient simply.

I was nostalgic when i was opening a file "photo.ranchi" in my laptop. Thought this file was corrupted. thank god its alive. i cannot resist myself without keeping in my blog. please share it.

oh its party time. reminds me the life's memorable event. it was 10 am i was working in the casualty in rajendra institute of medical sciences ranchi where i did my mbbs. my casualty chief asked me laxman how was your aiims PG entrance. i told so so. better than last time. he told god bless u. after 10 minutes later i got a call from delhi aiims result published and i was selected . really god blessed me. he was Dr. A. P Singh who seemed more happier than me that day. photo reminds the celebration same evening. Behing me on red shirt is sandeep . god sandeep is Dr. sandeep now. yesterday he told me he passed his final .

oh god this is the library. me and vikas used to be there whole day during post graduation entrance preparation . santosh our junior started coming to library following us. many other tried to study in library but we were the constant with same table always. still feel i am in the last table of right corner.

wow. this was my hostel in ranchi.hostel no 1 . though i was alloted hostel no 2 i shifted to 1 bacause it was clean and green hostel. my room was no 60 top floor. tough to stay in summer but best in winter. and my favourite balkoni, i used to be there with a cup of self made coffee and stay there for hours and hours.

hahaa my favourite hostel and balcony,the top one . heard that the chair i bought is broken and no more there. i was so fascinated to sit there and bought a chair and kept there. after all sit and have a ship of coffee in open air thats what i enjoyed there.

Page from october.

I found a page from october. probably it was written on october 2nd .I was leaving for kathmandu on 3rd here it goes...

September , a full ass sloughing month month was over. I got a day off after a full busy month

Next day I wish to be in kathmandu. Why not it’s a birth place of mine, where I can find everybody whom I need and want. Hope a safe journey to kathmandu and a safe dasain there. Infact I will be there after a long dasain gap. Almost a decade I guess.

But one more thing I will miss is tihar. The festival of light I will miss in kathmandu. I have to come back to my college just in the dawn of tihar. I am not here in tihar for a decade. really I am misising all the events and food out there in kathmandu. I will compare the kathmandu then and now . must be the same kathmandu with all cemented forests and some new faces heading to jorpati . As jorpati is good for cheap land and land with adequate water in her womb. I don’t wonder if somebody calls it a 76 district. You can find anyone from any district. Whether rich or poor. Everybody is invited in jorpati. The earlier called a charghare. Only four houses of rijal were built in the mid of the paddy field. Now more than 400 houses must have been built in near our vicinity.

What ever it is its my birth place. I should reach as early as possible.
Jai jorpati.

September, a flashback.....

Though i had written something for september i could not post it. I am very slow in typing and most of the time what i write in paper i loose it. and when i get time i enjoy sleeping as if i am a kid still. here is what ever left from what i have written. many pages are missing many stories are personal . still if u can understand you people are great.

Last month (September) was too busy for me. All of a sudden one of my junior resigned from the department and everybody came into the state of shock.

Though this was not the first time that somebody has resigned. My colleague had also resigned. Reason was same. Workload.

Imagine the work is same and people working for it are less. Though I had already finished the ward posting, me and my seniors were called back to the ward. Ward duty is hectic boring and tiring. Ready to be there at 8 AM and you never know when will you be back to room. And most of the time you will be in the ward only. You will miss breakfast this is very common. Lunch ohhh….. very few in time. And dinner constitutes of everything (breakfast lunch and dinner). You have to listen every consultants. Fulfil all the demands, prepare the case for the theatre and look after all the post operative patients. And if you miss somewhere you will be screwed like anything. Imagine at this age you will be scolded like a …. in front of everybody. This situation really sucks you.this continues for a month. You will feel like banging your head in the wall and repent for studying more and coming to AIIMS. This way aiims is a dirty place.

Whole month was like that. i hardly get time to sleep adequately, no time to had meals regularly and was working like an obedient servant and walking on the toe. Moment they need whatever, laxman used to be there for their work. Sometimes I used to feel to whom I was working ? For the patients or the consultants.

I was working like a dog I should say. Life was running under spinal level. Order – command – work – result – credit . and the credit used to go to somebody other than me. No credits to those who work for whole day and expect something atleast a praise. Nothing. Nothing but a rough and touchy scoldings instead. This is what I was doing a residency.