Friday, November 30, 2007

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This is how I was struggling last week. Many sleepless night….. Full time working days and stressful weekends. Nobody bothers what is happening with the people around. I was almost dreaming on day itself. No adequate sleep, skipping meals, dehydrated, not shaven since ages, and of course no bath. Last week was a horror week as usual to the post graduate in South East Asia, Where residency is as equivalent as slavery. Yes sir!, ok sir!, sure sir!, my pleasure * , these are the slangs mostly used. The lesson of slavery taught long time back by British still prevails. The same way, the old rum in the new bottle. Same taste, same kick, but in a different packaging.

Thesis, presentation, rounds seminars these are the most hatred by the residents. I don’t know about other but I do hate them most. These are the national playing sessions. The national game of leg pulling by a well read to non a read or vice versa, despite knowing the truth. Something crazy like showing a toffee to a baby inside womb in a hope it will come out soon. Crazy like walking upside down thinking pain in the ass..

While writing this article I remember Dr sikha’s article read last month regarding the medical interns and residents in India and south asia. Shika was an externist posted in the surgical casualty for a month rotation. Came all the way from England. Born and brought up in England. Cannot explain the cultural shock, she felt here amongst the medical fraternity. The day she landed she learned to say “sir”. The best institute she had dreamt off made her feel low and pathetic. She was unaware of the internal happenings and proceedings. Imagine for those who are in constant threat for years and surrenders everything for their a mere A 4 sized post graduate degree. Which he thinks, what makes him odd in the crowd….stand out.

This is nothing more than a frustrated cerebral cortex. A restless, not slept, adrenaline deprived, passive hypothalamus and sluggish limbic system. I was assured my job will be done today. A job of recovery of pain from the ass, a hopeless useless job of 100 pages craps, reminding a fool once again that I made you fool “THE THESIS”. Had I not been assured I would have not frustrated like I am. Just now I am not less than a street strain of rabies. But my pen is the only one to feel the virulence of it. I am helpless. somebody was busy he could not give time to his crap corrections so I was stucked. The corrections of alphabets, comprehension, and active to passive, noun to adjective. That is what the correction is. That too some one is busy and some one shows lack of interest. Some are yelling long and some not interested. Some are last moment guys though how grown up they are? Doctors to doctors or even profs…but the conclusion is ‘ too many cook spoils the food”

I don’t mind being late to submit the thesis. My only concern is again I have to start from ground 0. The same hiccough, same stories, same poor jokes, will strike my ear drum. Once again my ear drum will feel the vibration of never ending suggestions. I mind it being running after them showing my poor black teeth. Rather I mind to say yes sir, sure sir and blah blah……how long I can tolerate the same throbbing pain. All these are like bloody abscess. The early you drain it the better they follow you. Once again I have to console myself. But a broken shadow of mine which is the only friend of mine is warning me not to miss the target once you are blessed with occasions.

Hopefully things will settle down in coming days. A double edged sword gives you a scar both side. That’s what happening to me. I know it’s a never ending and expected to reoccur. But it does not explain that a rape victim needs to be raped every next moment assuming that to be a prostitute. I am not either of above bloody. Let the time come. Every interest of it will be accredited, rather a compound interest.

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