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विभिन्न कारणबस दुर्घटना परि आफ्नो शरीरमा आगोले पोलेका र उक्त घटना पश्चात् आफुलाइ समाजमा स्थापित गराउदै आएका केही बिरामिका लागि एउटा गित लेखेको छु। कस्तो होला सल्लाह चाइयो।

ं

पोल्यो यो शरीर मेरो
जलेन यो मन
जिउदै छु जिन्दगी आफ्नो
खुसी छ यो तन।।

पीडा थियो दु:ख थियो
खुसी छु अब
हास्नु रैछ बाच्नु रैछ
थाहा पाए जब।।

जिउने छु सबका लागि
गाउदै आफ्ना गित
साथ दिन्छु सबैलाइ
बनी उनकै मीत।।

आउ हामी अघि बढौ
गर्दै हाते मालो
तोडनै पर्छ अघि बढन
आफ्नै मनको जालो।।

म पनि टुइटे - भाग १

जिन्दगिमा कम्प्युटर सङ नाता नजोडेको "लछुमनेले" कसरी गर्यो इमेल? कसरी चलाउन थाल्यो फेस्बुक र टुइटर? हो यहि कथा हो मेरो।आजको दिनमा हो म पनि टुइटे हुं!

शैक्षिक मुग्लानिमा भारत भासिएपछी घरपरिवार सङ कुराकानिको माध्यम फोन बन्यो। विद्यार्थी जिवन घरको याद आइरहने हुँदा तारमतार फोनमा कुरा गर्दा मुस्किलनै हुन्थ्यो।होस्टेलमा फोन सुबिधा नभएको कारण घरबाट फोन गर्न मिल्ने कुरा थिएन। यसर्थ आफैले फोन गर्नुको बिकल्प थिएन। उनताका भारतबाट फोन गर्दा निकै चर्को शुल्क लाग्थ्यो। फोन बुथका मिटरमा सेकेन्ड सुइ उकालो लाग्दा उहीँ अनुपातमा आफ्नो गोजि ओरालो लाग्थ्यो। जिवनमा हर सेकेन्डको महत्व बुझ्न यो काफी थियो मलाइ। "गोजि अनुसारको खोजी" को बिकल्प बन्यो ईन्टरनेट। भारतमा र नेपालमा पनि भर्खरै यो ईन्टरनेट भन्ने जिनिस आएको थियो। आइएस्सी सकेर MBBS पढ्न सुरुगर्दा सम्म मैले कम्प्युटर बारे खासै जानकारी राखेको थिइन। स्कुलमा सायद एउटा कोठामा छोपेर राखिएको जिनिस कम्प्युटर हुन र भाइरस लाग्न नदिन प्लास्टिकका सिरक ड्सना भित्र तीन पत्रे धुलोमा जकडिएको हेर्न जादा जुत्ता खोलेको युगको मलाइ धेरै ज्ञान् हुनु पर्ने कुनै कारण पनि थिएन। उसबेला माड्साप्ले कम्प्युटर देखाउने भनेर प्लास्टिक उघारे धुलो स्कृन पुछे र हतार हतार प्लास्टिक ओढाइदिए। सायद भाइरस लाग्ला भन्ने डर थियो उनलाइ पनि!

घरमा इमेल चलाउन जान्ने को पो थिए र? कस्लाइ लेख्नु इमेल भन्ने सोचले बिरक्तिएर रांची सहरको भर्खरै खुलेको कम्युनिकेशन सेन्टरमा ठोक्किए। उ बेलाको मेरो हबिगतमा मेरो मर्का उसले बुझ्नै चाहेन। " हं आइडी क्या है? किसको भेज्ना है?" भन्दै मेरो फोनको बिल बचाएर चिट्ठीको बिकल्प खोज्ने सोचमाथी अन्दधुन्ध प्रहार गरिदियो। निरास भए तर हिम्मत हारिन। एक कप कडक चिया पिएर होस्टेल फर्किए।फोन बिल सम्झदा भाउन्न भएर आउथ्यो। साहस बटुली वरि एकजना गाउले दाजुलाइ फोन गरे। उन्ताका आइएन्जिओ मा काम गर्ने र मोटर्साइकलमा अफिस जाने उनी हाम्रो काठमा ठुलै मानिस थिए। उनलाइ अफिसमा इमेल पठाउन सकिने टुंगो लाग्यो। यो इमेलको चक्कर र यस्को संजाल साधारण अर्थमा बुझेपछी मलाइ लाग्यो अब गएर कम्युनिकेशन वाला कहाँ अस्ति गुमेको इज्जतको अंश भरताल माग्नेछु। त्यो दिन कुनै पनि हालतमा आफ्नु काम फत्ते हुनुपर्छ भन्ने दृढनिस्चयताका साथ कम्युनिकेशन सेन्टर छिरे। हिन्दुस्तानी साथिहरुबाट गुरु मन्त्र लिएकै थिए। मैले उसै गरे। खल्तिबाट आइएन्जिओको दाजुको इमेल आइडी लेखेको कागजको चिर्कटो तेर्स्याउदै आफू मेडिकल स्टुडेन्ट भएको जानकारी गराए। उ बुहारी झारझै नम्र भयो। उन्ताका रांचिमा मेडिकल बिध्यार्थीलाई इज्जत दिइदो रहेछ र आज पनि उस्तै छ। सरकारी कलेज उस्माथी पूरा सहरको इलाजको बोझ बोकेको अस्पतालका डाक्टर र बिध्यार्थिलाइ साच्चै सहरले इज्जत गर्थ्यो। उसले नम्र भएर मेरा कुरा सुन्यो र समस्याको हल बतायो। मेरो दिमागमा टेलिफोन बुथ भित्रको पल्स पिलिक पिलिक गर्यो र मुसुक्क हांसे। मैले उसको इमेल आइडी प्रयोग गर्ने र उसले गाउले दाजुको आइडिमा मेल पठाउने। गाउले दाजुले मेरो मेल प्रीन्ट गरेर घर पुर्याउने र मेरो मेल आएमा तेसको प्रीन्ट मलाइ दिने। उसले थप्यो एक पेज मेल पठाएको १५/- र एक पेज मेल प्रीन्ट गरेर मलाइ दिएको रु १०/- भारु। एक मिनेट फोन बिल ४५ भारु तिर्ने मलाइ यो सौदा जायज लाग्यो। तैपनी मैले बार्गेनिङ गरे १०/- र ५/-  उसले आफ्नो पीडा पोख्यो कलकता डाएल गरेर नेट चलाएको रहेछ। "एस्टिडी बिल कौन भरेगा?"  तैपनी १५/- ७/- को रकम तय गरेर बत्तिदै म होस्टेल फर्किए।

म गोलि बारुद नपड्काइ युद्द जितेको महसुस गर्दै थिए। अचानक याद आयो टाइप चै कसरी गर्नी हो यो कम्प्युटरमा? ठुलै फसाद आइपर्यो।"यत्रो काम त फत्ते भो यो पनि पार लाग्छ 'लछुमने' बिचलित नहो " अन्तरमनले ढाडस दियो। अँखा बन्द गरेर आफुले पढेको स्कुल र संचालकका तीन पुस्तेलाइ सरापे। "साला! समोसा पकाउन र मस्यौरा बनाउने पुर्बब्याब्साहिक शिक्षाको बदला कम्प्युटरमा टाइप गर्न सिकाइदेको भए आज लछुमनेको सान कत्रो हुन्थ्यो होला"  सोचे अब कम्प्युटर सिकरै छाड्छु।

मेडिकल कलेजको दोस्रो महिनाको बिध्यार्थी, पढाइको चाप, तेसमाथी र्यागिङको भय। नितान्त होस्टेलमा कैदी जीवन बिताउन पर्ने मैले ठुलै रिस्क मोलेझै लाग्यो कम्प्युटर सिक्ने हुटहुटी। मनलाइ बुझाए! कम्प्युटर पूरा थोडी न सिक्ने हो? टाइप गरेर मेल पठाउन जान्नु सम्म त हो नि। अनि क्यालेन्डरमा रातो धर्को लगाए बिदाको दिन आइतबार ४ घण्टा टाइप गर्न सिक्ने। तर समस्या थियो जाने कहाँ ? अरिङालको चाल बुझ्न गोलो नजिक जानू भने जस्तै म पनि कम्प्युटरको नजिक पुगिसकेको थिए तर उस्ले सिकाउला नसिकाउला दोधारमा थिए। दुइवटा कम्प्युटर थिए उस्का। एउटामा उ जतिखेर घोप्टिएर टाइप गरिरहेको हुन्थ्यो ठ्याक्कै मन्डपा भेटिने टुइटे जस्तै घोप्टे भन्न मिल्ने। अर्कोमा उसका ग्राहक इमेल पठाउदै हुन्थे। उ स्कुलका प्रश्नपत्र थेसिस लगायत अन्य टाइप गर्ने काम गर्दो रहेछ्। अब म जस्तो अनाडिलाइ झेल्नु अर्को काम थपिएको थियो उसको।

आइतबार बिहान २ पन्ना कागजमा घरमा पठाउने इमेल भन्दै अङ्ग्रेजीमा सफासङ लेखेर म जिवनकै पहिलो इमेल गर्न कम्यिनिकेशन सेन्टर पुगे। हुन त म आफ्नो रुवाइ नेपालिमै रुन चाह्न्थे। कहिल्यै घर नछोडेको कान्छो छोरो अचानक होस्टेलको १०x१० फिटको कोठाको ५x ३ फिटको खाटमा नजरबन्द भएको र्यागिङको पीडा म नेपाली आसुमा नै रुन चाहन्थे। भोक लग्यो भन्दा २४ सै घन्टा परिकार बन्ने आमको भान्सा र घडिको सुइमा खुल्ने र बन्द हुने क्यान्टिनको विभेद म नेपालिमै पोख्न चाहन्थे। कसैसङ नेपाली बोल्न नपाउदा आफैसङ गरेका मनोबाद म नेपालिमै उतार्न चाह्न्थे। तर टाइप धरी गर्न नजान्ने मलाइ नेपालिमा मनको बह पोख्नु दिवा सपना मात्र थियो।

मलाइ देख्ने बित्तिकै उसले ग्राहाक वाला कम्प्युटर अन गर्‍यो। डेस्क्टपमा भएको एउटा आइकन थिचेर मेल लेख्न मिल्ने ठाउसम्म बतायो र भन्यो अब बसेर टाइप गर र यो सेण्ड बटन क्लिक गर। हुन त उसले मेरो नाडी छामी सकेको थियो। कस्लाइ पठाउने भन्दै मेरो हातको चिर्कटोको आइडी नियाल्दै आफैले टाइप गरेर बिषयमा" मेल फ्रोम राचिं " लेखिसकेको थियो। उसले अब बसेर मेल लेख भन्दा मेरो पैताला देखि टुप्पि सम्माका एक एक रौ हल्लिएका थिए। अज्ञानताको एक भेल पसिनाले मेरो शरीर लपक्क भिजिसकेको थियो। कि बोर्ड छोएर हिनताको करेन्टको झट्कामा म बेहोस हुन चाह्न्नथे। मैले सच्चाइ बताइदिए " मलाइ टाइप गर्न आउदैन "

यसपल्ट उस्ले गाली गरेन।मलाइ हेयाउने हाउभाउ पनि कहि कतै देखाएन। भन्यो मेरो काम सकिएपछी म आफै टाइप गरेर पठाइदिउला तर पैसा जम्मा गरेर जा। मैले १५/- भारु जम्मा गरे र १.६ ले गुणा गरे र आफैलाइ भने फोन भन्दा कति सस्तो कति! हो मैले जिन्दगिको पहिलो इमेलको बिल काटिसकेको थिए। बक्यौता भएपो इमेल जाला कि नाइ चिन्ता गर्नु। नगदिमा जम्मा गरेपछी म बिस्वस्त थिए। मेरो आँखा फेरि उसको कम्प्युटरमा ठोक्कियो। मन कोक्याएर आयो। उसको भन्दा आधा स्पिडमा मात्र भए पनि टाइप गरेको दिन २ थाल भात खाएर बुढानिलकण्ठ आसनमा सुत्छु जस्तो लाग्यो। म टाइप गर्न पनि सिकाइदेउ भन्न चाह्न्थे तर हिम्मत जुटाउन सकिरहेको थिइन। दिमागमा खरायो र कछुवाको कथा याद आयो। मैले आफुलाइ कछुवामै सिमित गरे। ह्या होस अर्को हप्ता बिस्तारै भनम्ला भनेर मनलाइ ढाड्स दिए। मन स्थिर थिएन। दिमाग घरी घरी उसले टाइप गरेको मात्र चित्र कोर्थ्यो। कानमा उस्को कि बोर्ड्को टुक टुक आवाज ठोकिन्थ्यो। धित मरुन्जेल उसको कम्प्युटर हेरेर म फर्के। मैले त्यो दिन कम्प्युटर, संचार बिज्ञान र इमेललाइ मन देखि धन्यबाद दिए मेरो फोन बिल कम गराइदिएकोमा।

होस्टेल फर्केर पौने २ थाल भात गोदेर म कोठातिर लागे। आइतबार टन्न भात गोदेर दिउँसो २-४ घन्टा सुत्नुलाइ बिध्यार्थिले आफ्नो अधिकार ठान्छन। म पनि पल्टिए। मनमा उहीँ इमेलकै तर्कना थियो। किन लाग्थ्यो र निन्द्रा? मेरो इमेल पठायो होला कि छैन? कहिले सम्म गाउले दाजुको अफिसको कम्प्युटरमा पुग्छ होला? घर कत्खेर पुग्छ होला? घरबात तेस्को जवाफ कहिले आउँछ होला? यहि तर्कनाले मन बेतोडले दैडियो। दिमागले भन्यो " लछुमने ठन्डा दिमागले सोच" । ठन्डा दिमागले सोच्न आफुलाइ चिया पिउनु पर्ने! चिया पिउदै सोचे आज आइतबार नेपालमा अफिस खुली हाल्न्छन। फेरि सरकारी अफिस जो हो र दाजुको? उनी ५ बजेसम्म डिप्टी बजाउछन। फोनै गरेर ५ बजे सोध्न मन लाग्यो। होस फोन गरेसी कुराकानी गर्नु परिगो। फेरि इमेल पुगेको रैन्छ भने पैसाको नास! सोचे रिस्क मोल्नु ठिक छैन। अन्तत: इमेल सोमबार अफिस गएपछी गाउले दाजुको हात परेछ। अनि प्रीन्ट भएर बेलुका घर पुगेछ। घर परिवारले मात्र नपुगेर पूरा गाउँका बुज्रुकले पालै पिलो हेरेछन पढेछन। यसरी आफुले नजानेको नबुझेको ईन्टरनेट र इमेल मार्फत फोनको बिल कस्न पाउँदा म खुसिले ढोका थुनेर तीन बित्ता उफ्रेर ननाचेको कहाँ हुं र?

The Brazilian star will miss the semi and the final too !!!

Sports and injuries go side by side. A player who does not sustain injury is a virtual player. Football player sustain numerous injuries. Most of the renowned players have undergone surgeries for their knees, ankles and wrist.  Ronaldo (BRAZIL) underwent 3 surgeries for his injured knee ligament. He was prone for knee injury as his body was disproportionate. In spite of repeat injuries he could push himself and compete with the world’s giants.  The other giant injured his ankle, Ronaldo (PORTUGAL). He had just recovered and was dragging himself to represent his country for this world cup. In general football players sustain lower limb injuries more than anything else. Toe injuries, ankle twisting, knee twisting, hamstring pull, muscles tear are few of the common injuries. Apart from these they have fair chances to sustain upper limb injuries, like wrist ligament injuries, finger injuries and shoulder elbow trauma while protecting themselves during landing.  Back injuries are not that common as they have good reflex to protect their back and they are trained to protect back during fall and landing. Football player prioritize and try to prevent knee and back injuries as they take longer to heal and require prolong rest and surgeries many times. Trauma and rest for a football player is a huge loss. It is a physical as well as a monitory loss for them.  So they are trained such a way that they pretend to fall and they hardly sustain injuries. They know how to protect various body parts during fall. But not all the time it works, and they too sustain real injuries. Let me concentrate to the injury that very few players have sustained so far. Most unlucky was Neymar who sustained this injury last night.

Spine injuries for the world rated player is a nightmare to the doctor and the player as well.  To examine, opine and treat such demanding professionals is a herculean task. No single surgeon or physician is ready to take up such challenges. That is the reason a group of physicians and surgeons are appointed to treat such players. The best in the globe are hired to treat the best in the world. But even for the best It’s a heart pounding task to decide to operate or not to operate.

Neymar sustained a direct knee thumping over his back by defender Juan Zuniga. Immediately he fell down.  This mode of direct thumping in the center of back results the fracture of spinous process of the vertebra. The direct injury in the side (off center) may result fracture of transverse process of vertebra.  But it requires more impact as transverse process is way deep and covered by muscles. It also results the hyperextension (backward bending) of the spine resulting the opening up of the anterior column resulting injuries of the ligaments of anterior column. This is what I feel Neymar has sustained. Other possibility of injury is hyperextension injury of his back while landing. This is high-energy trauma, which can cause more extensive injury than the previous one. This can virtually cause trauma to all the column (anterior, middle and posterior) of the vertebra. In that case his recovery will take a longer, as he might need surgery as well.

There are very few posts regarding his injury. The team of doctors first verifies these injuries and then they are circulated to the media. So Far he has been evaluated with X-ray and CT scan. CT scan was suggestive of fractures. This much was given to the media early morning. Few more details have been disclosed day time. The specific level of vertebra L3 is disclosed, the part that got fracture is the transverse process of L3. The associated injuries of ureter and kidney is to be seen in such cases. Probably he will be evaluated through MRI again and the injury details will be officially disclosed. That is what I believe the experts are planning.  The official doctor of the Brazilian team Rodrigo Lamsar says “ Unfortunately, he is not going to be able to play. He is very, very sad. It’s not serious in the sense that it doesnot need surgery, but he will need to immobilize it to recover” and the expected recovery period is few weeks….

With his statements what I can presume is  he has suffered a fracture of transverse process  of L3 and that is being treated conservatively with rest and immobilization. This is moderately a painful condition. The movement in the hip and lower limb will increase pain as iliopsoas muscle is attached to the fractured tip and that muscle in attached to the part of femur in the LT below hip joint. So initial few days will be complete rest to manage pain. Spine immobilization will be done by lumbar brace. A minimum immobilization of 6 weeks is an optimal time for such fractures to heal. Sometimes it takes a longer course and takes up to 12 weeks. In rare cases it fails to unite and stays ununited. But it does not require surgery.  By this time the ligamentous injury also heal. But, Does this mean he will be able to play after 6 weeks or 12 weeks in the worst case. The answer is a BIG NO. The immobilization and rest will waste his back muscles; his thigh muscles and entire fitness will be low. So he will take few more months to regain his fitness. I feel a minimum of 3-5 months will take to bring his form back. During this time he will miss couple of interesting games including the semi and possibly the final too.

Feeling better....

Feeling better at the end of 4th day. The first ever experience with viral diarrhea will last in my life, if not for always, for few years sure. I think I need to think about vaccines if they are available in Kathmandu. Every year viral fever threats me and the symptoms persists for a fortnight, dry cough, early morning cough with sputum, red eyes and malaise persists for couple of days though the fever and chest symptoms subsides. I don’t think my immunity has been so weak. May be the new and virulent strains of virus are evolving. I guess google would give me the ways and means to increase the immunity. I doubt vegie are prone to viral illness. I don’t have data to support my own statement.

I can see everybody happy in the home now. My concern was different. I had almost isolated myself because there were new born in family. I bless them not to contract any viral illness me as a source. And the virus was really stubborn this time. It was a tough time to stay inside room for 4 complete days and night. It was almost like a prison for me. Thanks to laptop, mobile, landline and few books that made it possible. I think from tomorrow onwards I will resume few of my works. But I cannot imagine how will I recover my strength. I am really weak and lost few pounds. May all virus leave in peace. I have sacrificed a lot for you. Please allow me to go for work from tomorrow.

When you are helpless....

When we are sick we go to a doctor. Many people have come to me with their high hopes. I am sure I have done a justice to most of them with the knowledge and ability I have. I have operated few thousands of patients who had their hand, arm wrist, shoulder, leg, ankle, thigh or hip fractures. Few had their spine fractures, with less mobile legs and are happily walking without walking aids now, after surgery. I remember their face one by one and the happiness in their face is what I meant and what I was dreaming for.

All of a sudden I am not happy. My daily routine is disturbed, my work, my surgery ad the connection with the patient has lost.  I am bed bound for last three days and every second is like an hour for me. And every hour is like a day. Frequent electricity cut down and exhausted and dried laptop cell has made me miserable to get connected with the friends inside and outside the country. My cellphone is too old. I am planning to buy a new one for ages and the day has never come to me. I planned to buy Samsung galaxy S2. Since then many new phones have become the sensation in the market. Now S5 has hit the market and youngsters are far ahead with the latest gadgets. I am stuck with the Galaxy Ace. I tried to upgrade but never got a chance to put so much of money. When you feel you have stepped up into other responsibilities, you step down your necessaries. Chalta hai! Chal raha hai! This is what has happened to me and I am carrying a same old phone. The GPRS is too slow and 3G is fast and smart enough to suck its battery. This is somewhere my problem lies.

I am not bothered with the problems with my machines. Problems with my body bother me much. It’s almost 8 days I am not well. It started with viral like illness. Had throat sore, dry cough, myalgia, watery eyes and what not. I was recovering though I was not bed bound. But last three days are worst for me. I suffered an uncontrolled diarrhea. It has limited my mobility, no work, no progress and no positive thoughts. The frequency, the amount and the consistency is same.

I have always been no no to diseases. This is for the first time I have become so weak, and sympathetic about myself. I feel I never loved myself and I never had thought I can be sick. A simple disease had kept me in the bed and I have no solution for it. I am always scared with food and water borne disease. This is the reason I never prefer to dine outside, no matter how close the person has invited. I never take food from outside, except tea and coffee. Tea and coffee has always been my weakness so I cannot avoid them. I definitely have reduced the cups and quantity but cannot not leave without it.

I myself treated the diarrhea first and it did not bother my medications. My friend is treating it and the progress is nil. My friend claims it is none other than a viral diarrhea. I node my head, I have no arguments for it. He says it will resolve in few days time. I don’t know how much is the few days time? 3 4 5 6 or 7 days from the day of onset. Virus behaves differently in individuals and the minimum days for me is God only knows. I am tired of siting over the comode. Neither it hurts, nor it pains. But my intestine makes so much of movements. That’s all I can feel.

I am disproportionately weak but the treatment continues.  When you are sick you need your people near by saying take it easy. I feel I am alone. Anshu is out of town with the new borne. Missing the cries, missing those fearless and careless smileys in his face. Badly missing son and his mom. Please come soon.

The status update...

I left the place where i was working in July 2012. I left for the good cause. I thought i need to train myself. I also planned to learn from the people who deserve to train. After all, I landed in delhi again for six months. Delhi is the nearest station which never made me anxious while traveling. I have been more than 50 times to delhi and the journey continues. I have good memories, i have bad memories of Delhi but still i love to talk about good and i am going to delhi for good reason once again. I joined Medanta as a clinical fellow in hand and upper extremity surgery with my boss Dr VG.

While i was in delhi i had an opportunity to present my research paper in Dubai. Anshu was always interested to visit Dubai as she has lot of school friends from Dubai.  We managed to visit Abu Dhabi with a mexican couple who were married 25 years back in dubai. I had an opportunity to meet Dr Chitaranjan Ranawat, a famous US surgeon whom i wanted to meet once in my life time in Dubai conference.   Indeed Dubai was a good vacation for both of us.  Anshu flew to Kathmandu and i continued with Medanta. There was no reason to be sad in delhi for entire fellowship. Finally days were close to leave delhi. I had three option in my hand. First was to join malaysian MSU from March 2013. I left MSU idea because the minimum contract period was 2 years. Salary was nice and in fact it offered job for both of us with good package. Second was Medanta. Chairman and the AD offered me a consultant post. It was lucrative but this again was going to separate us. Anshu had no license to work in India. After all she is a gynecologist and why should she suffer her career for me. Third was to join singapore fellowship. International orthopaedic society had selected me for a six months fellowship in singapore. So i opted a third one. It was a good decision.

Came back to Kathmandu in Feb 13. Was not in a mood to continue previous hospital where moron and idiot were in dozens. Was interested to join hospital for a short period as i had to leave for singapore in next 4 months. Had talk with various hospitals, but i found reasonable to join Sumeru.

Hello......Hello.....Hello..

I am back here again. When I feel like I need to talk to self I quietly login to the page. And this time I logged into this page after several months with some noise. I forgot the password and struggled for hours for R&D.

Was upset for hours because my work station was loudly infiltrated by a colleague of ours. Doctors are behaving as if they are the leaders first. I would have discussed with the colleagues where I was joining. I would have asked if my presence would feel them comfort or not. At least a courtesy visit or a call would have made this job simple to those who wish to join with us. I also know who is the man behind this. Let the time come we will make a good dissection on it after all i too am a surgeon who cuts layer by layer to reach the target.

Of course we need the person to work with us. That does not mean that boss can call someone and give the appointment. By now we know the boss too, whose' puppet is he! I don't want to discuss with boss what he did he can justify or not. I don't want to stretch it as it matters less to me. I know what the would be colleague of mine posses and what he is up to. I also know what way I differ to them.

After a series of 25 publications in last 3 years in various journals I felt I am tired writing papers. This is the right time I need to learn some things from my Profs. Happily going for a fellowship. In fact a break from the hell politics in our hospital. The political turmoil will hopefully downrate boss's mania till I join next time.

Resuscitation

“Dumbo! I am dropping dead, revive me……. it’s me! Your favourite time pass… it’s your blog. Moron!”

Sincerely true.. I am not doing justice to my blog. I even don’t know when I wrote last time.. and why I left writing ? Simple reason why I write is I want to talk to myself… the inner self. That is the only reason I write. I know I was irregularly regular posting blogs, reason being simple I never wanted to become a blogger :)… word is not my business.

Change of work station, exam, ever coming and going electricity, my old laptop and it’s exhausted battery, and lastly I forgot the password… these are the simple and silly reasons I can list upon for not writing blog. One more thing I must mention is internet connection… really people I am banging my head to get the stable net connection…and for last 7 days I am deprived with it again….may be it will take one more month. The reason that fits more is I was alone so far I was writing; better say I was talking to myself. When I started staying with family I started talking with them and I forgot talking to self :) another silly reason to justify my laziness. Then why I am soiling my head with textual diarrhea today? Do I have answer for it?? A big NO…

Few people know I write blog and very few people read it erroneously till they are bored. Yesterday, I admitted I write it, that too accidentally. So the mission of retrieving a long lost password was begun and finally I could do it…very truly said “what happens, happens for the best”

seeking some help fro GOD....

When you have limited option and you have to choose one, very sure you will find your hands shaking before choosing one. Same here…. Being a surgeon I am scared with intra-op and post-op complications. I have never come across hardware problems. Orthopedic infections being my nightmares, I always pray before holding knife with my right hand and try to stick with in the principles of sterility. But today is different, I am to operate the old lady of 80’s tomorrow and I am sweating now onwards. The frail lady with difficult fracture and preoperative morbidity including bad chest condition will rob my sleep today. The rare blood group and no blood stock in blood bank, what more is needed to warn my life much before she complicates in the theatre. And his grandson whose eyes are always searching for our faults to point out. What a deadly combination? Had I been a private practioner, I would have said sorry much earlier to them. But medical college you have to accept it and being a tertiory center where you will refer them? She is getting delayed, there is no blood, she can complicate in the ward anytime and her grandson finds us guilty for all nonsense reasons. This is the sorry state of the affairs where you find some people are born headless. Politely I can label him as one of them. Else he should be at least thankful to the hospital for keeping her better than she was.


Earlier I thought I would not be touching this case. But now the matter is different..things have already been decided I will be going to the theater tomorrow. But now I have to and I am scared if something wrong happens, relatives will make an issue out of it. Who knows? they may shout for compensation. This has become the usual trend in Nepal once the patient dies they invariably destroys the hospital property and ask for compensation. How bad the matter is taking shape. If so who will come forward to operate the patients. Because every surgery carries, some rate or mortality be it from anesthesia or surgical point of view. How and when people will understand this? Thank god, the patient who died last time immediately after induction realized the matter that, this is a known complication and they accepted despite the fact some people tried to make an issue to raise our name.


I have to operate upon her tomorrow. I was reading for it since evening and how it can be done smoothly with minimal errors and with best possible outcome. Cannot say about outcome, but one thing sure with minimal blood loss I can do it and can fix it with the implant available with us. My plan is MIS and will convert into liberal incision if I find I am struggling to fix it. Any way I can only plan what happens, happens for best and I have no control over it. Only I can do is the informed consent with maximization of mortality rate to save my skin if something happens during and after surgery. Still my mind says we need to wait for few days for her general condition to improve. But what one can do if anaesthesist says he is ready. I am little confused and praying my god for helping me in such tough situation. As always please God take me out of it smoothly as if I was not entered in this problem either. God bless my patients, bless me too.

The beauty lies Near by my college. I dont know it cause I am a stupid....

I am not a moron but stupid for sure. I was doing my residency in AIIMS and went to south ex market after 3 months of stressful life. That day I declared myself a stupid, a mere collection of bone and flesh. Same thing happened today. I had never been to the other side of the college. Today I had an opportunity and just took a short walk. A half an hour journey of life and it showed me the real beauty of nature just besides my college. This is how I could capture it in the frame…..



The journey begins…........



Life has limited support, start journey at your own risk….......



Half we have traveled. Half left…say hi to all in same journey, no matter how busy you are. “The lesson I recently learnt from ants…..”



The tough survives and stands still. Rest follow the flow….....



Few inches away and life ends here….



Everything traverses a tough journey before freedom…… see the water how it has escaped…......



As high as deep down! Nature teaches you if you wish to learn….....



Tail lies in the viewer’s eyes.. The mysterious fish tail hiding its other fin…....



The more I think the more I sink… the majestic beauty lies 5 minutes from hospital……..


This is the beginning not the end... Will reach there before I die…..




Slow and steady wins the race.. Each step cut shorts your journey by one more step…..



Give space to all…take a side and keep walking…support your back with your own hand. Life is to travel alone……



The farther the taller….but its not the end… life is unreachable journey…ends before you finish…....



Who waits for you, not even the sun…start again tomorrow…



Not every road leads you there….decide much before you start walking…..think twice, walk two steps behind and proceed one … life is unmistakable then…...






Every little things neatly arranged add value in life.. Gives dimension to life….after all body is made up of such 206 bones……..



Children everywhere are same… they play till they are tired…so was I …...



Everybody gets confused when they have to choose one…..



Though rusted provides shelter to many….everything rusts with time…but remember value is same…....



If you have guts you stand still… no matter there are river both the side……...



Water takes its own course, no matter white water or blue water… it flows downward. Life is like water…....



Take a rest after a long journey.. How it matters, who the near by fellow is? He is an anaesthesist and me a surgeon, we don’t have case today so we are calm here…